


That Day Tavros Discovered He's an Inconsiderate Asshole

by sisterbloomers (sisterbutters)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, I forgot to mention that, M/M, Some onesideness at the begining, a lot of awkawrd, mostly clique
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 16:04:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3902359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisterbutters/pseuds/sisterbloomers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tavros notices' that Gamzee's been bumming lately and when he tries to get to the bottom of it he, Tavros comes to realize he maybe an asshole. Now he has to face his feelings, or maybe die who knows (he doesn't die). Humanstuck!</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Day Tavros Discovered He's an Inconsiderate Asshole

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my first fanfic since early 2012 holy crap. Anyway I posted this once but I deleted it right after. So read fast or else it might be gone by the time you finish this sentence.

If you had to describe Gamzee with one word you think it would be “happy”. Of course there are A LOT of words that can describe Gamzee, but his upmost chipper-ness and overwhelming positive attitude are the things that stood out the most to you. At least they used to.

Recently Gamzee’s happy go lucky mood has taken a slight turn downward. Of course you don’t think anyone else has notice. Anyone else looking in would think Gamzee was the same weirdo clown he’s always been, but to you even his littlest gestures are telltale signs to his new mood.

The first thing you probably noticed was the forced smile. You would never think Gamzee would fake a smile, but recently it seems that all he does. You feel if you ever pointed this out to someone they might say you’re just imaging it, but after the five years you’ve know him you’d like to believe you can tell his actual smile from this fake he’s just invented.

You’ve also notice a small; well maybe pretty big, distance between you and him. Physical distance between you that is. Gamzee used to be what I guess you would call “touchy feely”. Just talking just didn’t seem like it was enough for him. He needed to be arm-to-arm, thigh-to-thigh with you. Not to mention how he took every opportunity for a hug, even if the moment (or environment) didn’t call for one. “Decency” isn’t in Gamzee’s vocabulary, and even if it is it isn’t like he would pay mind to it. Though you usually find Gamzee’s hands on friendship straining it just stopped suddenly. He never “surprise hugs” you when you two meet up, and you could fit another person between the space on the couch that use to be nonexistent. You feel you miss his old “huggy” despite all the embarrassment.

Though the thing that probably affected you the most was how he stopped talking to you. Well you mean of course he still “talks” to you, you text him often and he still replies but it just doesn’t feel like he’s really trying to hold a conversation. Usually when you guy’s talk you barely have to say anything, he’ll just go off on a tangent of subjects that have nothing to do with what you were originally saying. Usually his topics are miracles (which are actually just coincidences), rap, and weed though these are just some of the subjects. Though don’t really care for most of those things (except maybe rap…and weed) it was nice to have someone to talk to, even if it was about why soda’s fizz when you open them. Now it feels as if he doesn’t want to talk to you at all…and it hurts, it hurts a lot.

You used to be able to call yourself one of Gamzee’s best friend, one of his bros, his Tavbro! But now you don’t even know if you’re friends anymore. Though it all could be in your head. You had to ask someone, if you didn’t try to help Gamzee you know if would only get worse.

You know there aren’t a lot of people you could talk to about this. Honestly don’t think anyone would see a problem or even care, but there was one person. Gamzee’s roommate, and pretty much his only other friend. If anyone else would notice Gamzee’s change it would be him, at least you hope.

 

  
AT: hey

CG: what for the love of shit eating do you want

AT: do you think it would be possible to like meet up somewhere, and like talk?

CG: What the ever-loving fuck would you butt muncher want to talk about that you can’t text me

CG: You know thing you are doing now????

AT: Well it’s just it’s kinda important

AT: and I just don’t think I’ll be able to verbalize it correctly though texting

CG: So you want me to get up and meet with you where you won’t be able to verbalize in person?

AT: Yeah, I guess?

CG: Okay fine! Whatever! Just tell me fuckin where

 

You sit at the park bench waiting for Karkat to show up. It’s a Saturday afternoon so it’s pretty busy. You’re hoping a public space with a lot of people will keep Karkat’s screaming to a minimum, but it’s also highly unlikely. Just as you think that you see someone stomping over the horizon toward you.

“Okay what is so damn important you had to drag me out of my air condition?” Karkat practically spits at you as he sits down on the bench.

“Well okay, it’s about Gamzee actually.” You reply.

“I hate this conversation already.”

“Okay but have you notice that he’s been acting strange recently?”

Karkat just rolls his eyes at you. “Tavros, you do realize that you made the most obvious statement that has ever been mutter on this god forsaken rock.”

“No I mean like lately he just seems kinda depressed almost?”

“Oh” Karkat’s expression changes from pissed off scowl to a slightly less pissed of scowl “Yeah, I know what you’re talking about.”

You feel a wave of relief “Then it’s not just me.”

“Tavros I live with this fucker, and I’ve had to deal with him and his shit moods for a long time. Yes, you can say that he’s been pretty fucking down for the last couple of weeks.”

“Well, do you think you know what’s got him so upset?” you prod, for some reason it felt like Karkat didn’t want to talk about this subject.

He just groans and shifts his elbows onto his thighs and his hands starts rubbing his temples “Well, if it’s anything, it’s going to be the same fucking thing that’s been bothering him for the last four years.”

You’re a little taken back by this. Four years? You’ve known Gamzee for almost five, and something been affecting for almost their entire friendship?

“What? Four years? What’s been happening for the past four years?”

Karkat turns to look at you giving you the most disgusted face he can muster. “You know what Tavros it’s been a very long and very shitty fours years and I’m very goddamn tired and sick of all this bullshit to be honest. If you really want to fucking help Gamzee you need to get off you ass and DO something.”

“Wha-what can I do? I don’t even know what’s wrong, why do you expect me to solve anything?”

Karkat suddenly jumps off the bench and screams “BECAUSE THIS ENTIRE THING IS YOUR FAULT!”

If you weren’t confused before you were more than enough confused for the entire week or even month. Karkat must notice the look of shock and fear in your face because his face changes to a slightly less pissed off look.

“Wh-what d-did I d-do?” You try to defend yourself, but your voice falters.

You can tell there’s something else he wants to yell at you but he doesn’t. Instead he sit back down on the bench and mutters inaudibly to himself “Okay Tavros, as much as I would like to just fucking tell you, it’s not my goddamn place. Just sit here and think about the relationship between you and Gamzee.”

It seems every time Karkat opens his mouth to say something else you get more and more lost within the conversation. It turns out Gamzee’s bad mood is your fault. Not only that you’ve been depressing Gamzee for the past four years, almost the entire time you’ve known him. And now only you can solve it.

You try to take Karkat’s advice and think about you and Gamzee’s relationship. You always felt you and Gamzee were good friends, better then good even. He’s your best friend you two do everything together. You could confine in him with anything, and he would never judge or shove you away. But maybe that was the problem? Maybe you confined in him too much. Maybe he was sick of you and your problems.

“Does…does Gamzee not want to be my friend anymore?”

Karkat raises hands as if he’s going to shake you, while giving you a look of great disbelief. Some how he manages to sallow his words and looks you in the eye. “Okay, yes, lets just say that Gamzee doesn’t want to be ‘FRIENDS’.” he put air quotes around the word.

You don’t quite get the gesture but you do feel your heart sink deep in you chest. “Well I guess I’ll tell him we he doesn’t have to be my friends anymore, and he can stop hanging around me.” You reluctantly sputter out.

“ _Holy shit_ Tavros don’t fucking do that!! Do you want him to become suicidal???”

“But-? You just said he doesn’t want to be my friend?”

“He doesn’t want to be your friend because…?” Karkat gestures his hands toward you as if he wants you to fill the blank.

“Because he doesn’t want to listen to me complain anymore?”

Karkat just shakes his head with a look that screams ‘no you stupid fuck’

“Because I’m boring?”

“No!! Are you being for real right now? Seriously THINK.”

“Is it because I’m too…. cowardly??” you’re grasping at straws by this point.

“ **HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIND YOU DIPSHIT.** ”

Karkat’s face changes quickly switches from flush red to pale white with regret. Although you are too busy being punched in the stomach with shock to notice.  
“What?” is all that you can stammer out.

Karkat puts his hands into his face “Gamzee is going to fucking kill me” he groans out.

“I don’t…..I mean I can’t…..just…what?”

Karkat lifts his head and gives you a serious look. “Are you playing dumb, or are you being serious, because from what I’ve heard you should of already known about all this.”

“No! I didn’t know how could I’ve known??”

“You really can’t think of anything Gamzee’s said in the last four years that might have tipped you off?”

“Not that I-“ just at that moment you remembered every single time Gamzee said he loved you over the past four years.

“oh my god.”

“Yeah, I know.”

You’re straining to finds words but your thoughts are moving a little too fast and you can’t seem to catch them.

“It’s just…it’s just… it’s Gamzee. I never thought he was serious. He’s never serious. And doesn’t he tell every everyone that he loves them? He’s told you that he loves you!” Your spitting out words as fast as they come to you, but they’re not making you sound very good.

“Gamzee tells me that he loves me when I give him my left over French fries. He tells you that he loves you when you two are alone together New Years Eve and it just struck midnight.” Karkat is referencing something at actually happen and it feels like a punch in the gut.

“Oh god I’m a horrible person. My best friend has been in love with me for four years and I’ve been too inconsiderate to even notice his feelings.”

“Well at least we’re finally on the same page here.”

“Oh my god and that time he asked me if I wanted to make out…”

“WHAT, when did that happen.”

“Junior year of college, we smoked some weird pot we bought off some guy in a 711 parking lot and got really fucked up. Then he asked me if I wanted to make out but you know in a Gamzee way it was something like ‘lets share some miracles between our lips’, I don’t know I was really high.” You’re babbling at this point but it’s not like you even care anymore, Karkat probably knows way more embarrassing stuff about you from Gamzee anyway.

“Oh man then there’s what happened two weeks ago…” You mutter knowing deep in your heart and brain that, that is what caused Gamzee’s mood change recently.

“Yeah… so what happened exactly?” Karkat says almost casually as if he’s not completely curious, but totally is.

You’re surprised though, you thought Gamzee told Karkat everything. Though maybe he became so depressed he didn’t want to talk to anyone about it even his best friend. This just made you feel like an even bigger pile of shit.

“Well it was two weeks ago, like I just said, at our movie night-“

“Oh of COURSE it happened at homo-gay movie night.”

“ANYWAY it was movie night and we just got done with done with some romcom….”

“The Rewrite.” Karkat says bluntly, Gamzee must have borrowed it from him.

“Yeah that one, anyway we just got done watching it and we where both laughing at how bad it was,” Karkat gives you look that screams ‘how dare you’ but he manages keeps his mouth shut “and I mention something like how real relationships are nothing like that, and he turned to me and said…” you pause and take a deep breath “and said ‘How about we make our relationship realer than any movie’.” Hearing yourself makes your heart sinks even more than you thought possible.

“What did you say?” Karkat is apparently a really good listener when it’s a subject he wants to hear.

“I said…” You stammer, you can barely even think it “I said… that that would be impossible because our friendship is already as real as it gets.”

Karkat doesn’t say anything right away, he just gives you a look of complete utter disbelief and you can’t blame him.

“Oh my fucking god Tavros.” He finally says. “Why didn’t just punch him in the face while you were at it?”

“I know okay! I already feel bad enough.”

“No Tavros just no. You went to college. You have a degree. Some looked at you and said that you were smart enough to graduate, yet somehow someone can say THAT to you and you can’t put the pieces together?”

You sit there in silence because there’s nothing left you can say. Your best friend is depressed, and it’s your fault because you’re a complete dickwad.

“What now?” you ask yourself.

Karkat’s the one that answers though “Now you sit here and think about your feelings”

Wow you really didn’t want to do that “Do you have any advice?” You look at him sympathetically hoping he’ll take some pity on you though you don’t deserve it.

He gives you one last serious look and simply states “Do it for you and not him.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means go out with him because you actually have feelings for him and not because you feel bad. Just being pity boyfriends isn’t going to help neither of you, especially him.”

You’re surprise at how well said that was “Okay, thanks, I think I’m just going to sit here and think about my feelings for awhile, maybe die, I’m not sure yet.”

Karkat gets up and begins to leave “Do want you want, just don’t invite me to the funeral.”

“Thanks Karkat.” You yell towards his back while you slump in the bench watching him walk down the park’s sidewalk.

He simply lifts one hand as walks barely acknowledged you even spoke.

Once he leaves you take out your cell phone noticing it’s only 2 pm, but already feel so emotionally drained for the rest of the year. But you sit there and think because you know the worst part hasn’t even begun yet.


End file.
